Emotional Regulation Parent Counselling
Are you struggling to manage your children’s intense emotions or finding it hard to keep calm yourself? It’s normal for children and young people to be overwhelmed by emotions regularly and they need our help.
Babies are born with 200 billion brain cells but few connections so it’s impossible for them to self- regulate. What’s less well known is that children’s brain pathways are still being pruned and strengthened well into adolescence, so our emotional support is vital. It’s easy to say but when you are in the firing line it isn’t always easy to be the safe container your child needs. For a start, it requires feeling emotionally resourced yourself.
As experienced child and family therapists, our clinicians have in depth knowledge of child development and deal with emotional dysregulation as a key component of their work. Emotional dysregulation results from a complex mix of developmental capacity, sensory needs, memories and triggers. Our therapists will take the time to understand your child and your family in order to identify what may be behind their behaviour. As well as providing information on the brain and nervous system, we can suggest tools and strategies that link directly to your child’s specific experience.
Often, a key component of child regulation is a calm and containing response from parent/s or carer/s, as this allows for co-regulation. Our therapists can explore your unique challenges in staying regulated in stressful situations. With this space to reflect you can develop your own capacity to understand and connect with the feelings behind the difficult behaviour instead of reacting emotionally, which so often leads to a downward spiral. Giving yourself the opportunity to download in a confidential and reassuring space can go a long way towards reducing overwhelm and regaining a sense of calm. In addition our therapists can recommend a range of strategies and grounding tools to try out after your session. Learn more, about our parent counselling sessions or Book Today.
Our Experts in Emotional Dysregulation
Adriana Buzetto
Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist
I am a Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist trained in Child-Parent Relationship Therapy, working with children, adolescents, and families in the UK, Spain, and Brazil.
Karen Lever
Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist
I manage therapeutic services in two London primary schools, as well as supporting trainee psychotherapists. I also work clinically with children.
Clemmie Mason
Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist
I have over 12 years experience working with children and their families and more recently have started offering more focussed support to parents and carers.
Kati Mencer
Psychotherapeutic Child Counsellor
I have worked with children and parents for 20 years, starting as a school teacher, Montessori educator/trainer, and then as a child and parent counsellor.
Helen Curren-Anaman
Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist
I have over 20 years of experience practicing within private, public, and charity settings offering consultations for children, young people, and families.
Beatrice Norville
Systematic Family & Child Parent Relationship Therapy Practitioner
I am a Counsellor (adults, children and young people), Systemic Family Practitioner (families and couples), Child Parent Relationship Therapy Practitioner (parents). I am passionately committed to supporting parents and their families with their struggles.
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Many children experience anxiety. It may be in relation to a particular area of their lives such as school work or friendships, or it may be a generalised feeling of unease or worry that surfaces regularly. We’ve outlined strategies to help cope with anxiety…. Read more. - Helping Children With Sibling Rivalry
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Additional Parent Resources
There are many exceptional resources for parents available online but it can be hard to find them if you don’t know where to look. Our team has compiled a list of recommended organisations, website and helplines for a wide range of parenting concerns. As well as support for more serious mental health issues, you’ll find our latest creations and recommendations of parenting videos, podcasts and books to add to your reading list. Learn more…
Book Recommendations for Children
“The Huge Bag of Worries“ by Virginia Ironside. An excellent picture book we often recommend to help children deal with worries and anxiety. The illustrations are brilliant and the message powerful.
“Silly Billy“ by Anthony Browne. A lovely book for children struggling with anxiety. An opportunity to open up conversation around feelings and worries.
“Angry Arthur” by Hiwyn Oram. This is a stunning picture book about Arthur whose world explodes when he feels angry.
“The Red Beast” by K.I. Al-Ghani & Haitham Al-Ghani. This is an educational story that brings to life anger as a ‘red beast’ the child learns to control.
Book Recommendations for Parents
“The Whole-Brain Child” by Dr Dan Siegel. 12 Proven Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind, explains the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures.
FAQs
What is emotional regulation?
Emotional regulation is a skill that allows us to recognise and manage our feelings in a safe and healthy way. This is something children develop gradually through supportive relationships and life experiences. Emotional regulation does not mean never becoming upset; it means learning how to cope with emotions without becoming overwhelmed, bringing ourselves back from intense emotions such as frustration, anger or excitement.
Why do some children struggle with emotional regulation?
Some children experience emotions more intensely or find it harder to manage stress, frustration or overwhelm. Factors such as temperament, anxiety, neurodiversity, sensory sensitivities, developmental stage, stress or difficult experiences can all affect emotional regulation. Children often need support and co-regulation before they can self-regulate independently.
What are “big emotions” in children?
“Big emotions” are feelings that can feel overwhelming or difficult for children to manage, such as anger, fear, frustration, sadness or excitement. Young children in particular may struggle to express these emotions verbally, so feelings are often communicated through behaviour instead.
How can parents help children calm down when overwhelmed?
Children are more able to calm down when they feel emotionally safe and supported. Staying calm, reducing demands, using simple language and helping children feel understood can all help during moments of overwhelm. Regulation usually happens through connection first rather than reasoning or consequences.
What is co-regulation and why is it important?
Co-regulation is the process of helping a child manage emotions through the calm presence and support of another person. Children learn emotional regulation through repeated experiences of being soothed, understood and emotionally contained by trusted adults. Over time, these experiences help children build their own coping skills.
Why does my child react so strongly to small things?
Strong reactions are often signs that a child is already feeling emotionally overloaded or struggling beneath the surface. What appears “small” externally may feel very significant to a child internally. Stress, anxiety, sensory overwhelm, tiredness or emotional sensitivity can all reduce a child’s ability to cope.
How can parents stay calm during emotional outbursts?
Remaining calm during emotional outbursts can be difficult, particularly when parents are stressed or overwhelmed themselves. Taking a pause, focusing on regulation before problem-solving and recognising that behaviour often reflects distress rather than defiance can help. Parents also need support, compassion and space to reflect on their own emotional responses.
When should emotional dysregulation become a concern?
Support may be helpful if emotional outbursts become very frequent, intense or begin affecting family life, school, relationships or a child’s wellbeing. Parents may also benefit from guidance if they feel increasingly unsure how to respond or if strategies no longer seem effective.
