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Divorce & Separation

Helping children cope with Divorce and Separation. Child walking inbetween both parents happily holding hands

Divorce & Separation Parent Counselling

Are you worried about how your relationship breakdown will impact your child/children? Are you thinking about the best age-appropriate way to tell your children about your divorce? 

Whilst divorce will inevitably have an impact on your children, outcomes are not always negative and a healthy attachment to both parents can be maintained. It’s an emotionally charged time for everyone involved so it can feel almost impossible to protect your children completely but seeking professional, impartial advice can make a huge difference.

With recent data suggesting that the divorce rate in the UK is estimated at 42% there are hundreds of thousands of people right now, worrying about the impact of divorce on their children. It’s more and more common for both parents to play an active role in raising their children, emphasising the importance of co-parenting and the benefits of children maintaining strong relationships with both. But people divorce for a reason, often through a break-down in communication, so it can be incredibly challenging to work together to find a new shape to your children’s lives.

Despite the huge numbers of people going through separation, it often feels like a very lonely place. Your family and set of circumstances are invariably unique so we know that any advice needs to be tailored to you. Our therapists will help you find ways to support the emotional needs of your child/children at a time when you are coping with so much yourself.

We can discuss ways to prepare them for change whether that be living without one parent, moving into new homes or adjusting to blended families. The most important message to communicate to your children is despite the changes to your family set-up, they remain at the centre of your lives.  Learn more, about our parent counselling sessions or Book Today.

Our Experts in Divorce & Separation

Karen Raingold

Child & Adolescent Art Psychotherapist

I am an experienced and intuitive Art Psychotherapist who has been working therapeutically with children and families for thirteen years.

Karen Lever

Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist

I manage therapeutic services in two London primary schools, as well as supporting trainee psychotherapists. I also work clinically with children.

Sama Hunt

Child & Adolescent Art Psychotherapist

For 18 years I have worked in adult mental health within the NHS. I have also worked with young people and their families within school settings for the past 8 years.

Kati Mencer

Psychotherapeutic Child Counsellor

I have worked with children and parents for 20 years, starting as a school teacher, Montessori educator/trainer, and then as a child and parent counsellor.

Helen Curren-Anaman

Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist

I have over 20 years of experience practicing within private, public, and charity settings offering consultations for children, young people, and families.

Isabel Squirrell

Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist

I am an integrative child and adolescent psychotherapist and my approach is bespoke to the specific child, teenager or family.

Tamsin Lemkow

Child & Adolescent Counsellor

I have been working as a therapist with Child in Time since 2013 in schools. I also support parents with a range of difficulties such as divorce, family breakdown, bereavement, and mental health.

Clemmie Mason

Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist

I have over 12 years experience working with children and their families and more recently have started offering more focussed support to parents and carers.

    Additional Parent Resources

    There are many exceptional resources for parents available online but it can be hard to find them if you don’t know where to look. Our team has compiled a list of recommended organisations, website and helplines for a wide range of parenting concerns. As well as support for more serious mental health issues, you’ll find our latest creations and recommendations of parenting videos, podcasts and books to add to your reading list. Learn more…

    Recommendations for Children

    “Dinosaur’s Divorce” by L K Brown & M.Brown. A colourful, informative book to help children understand divorce. Helps explain: what divorce words mean; why parents divorce; how to live with one parent and visit the other; how to have two homes; and many more issues and topics.

    “Two Places to Call Home” by Phil Earle. An uplifting picture book about Florrie who’s parents have divorced, meaning she now lives in 2 houses. She doesn’t feel brave enough to do this, but both parents find a way to show her she’s braver than she thinks.

    “Mum and Dad Glue” by Kes Gray. A little boy tries to find a pot of parent glue to stick his mum and dad back together. His parents have come undone and he wants to mend their marriage, stick their smiles back on and make them better. But, as he learns, even though his parents’ relationship may be broken, their love for him is not.

    “My Family’s Changing” by Pat Thomas. This simple and reassuring picture book that explores concerns about divorce and family break-ups for young children The fears, worries and questions surrounding this difficult experience are made accessible and approachable.

    “Split Survival Kit – Ten steps for coping with your parents divorce” by child psychologist, Angharad Rudkin. From acceptance and resilience, to communication and compassion towards other people, this book will help you tackle the tricky situations that a divorce can bring, and answer some of the questions going through your head.

    Recommendations for Parents

    Podcast: Connected Parenting” with Jennifer Kolari. Podcaster and author of ‘Connected Parenting’ and You’re ruining my life’ (but not really) Kolari is a Californian child and family therapist. She shares techniques that therapists use, with specific episodes on ‘how to handle Divorce with kids’ and many other common family concerns.

    Book: “Co-parenting With a Toxic Ex”. Written by Tiffany Austin, this is a very practical book with tips and strategies to set boundaries and manage conflict when your partner seems unable to prioritise the best needs of your children.

    Disclaimer

    Our therapists are child development specialists focussing on the emotional needs of children and families. They are not qualified to give legal advice during sessions nor are they qualified to act as mediators between co-parents.

    Seeking legal representation is essential during divorce proceedings, especially when facing complex legal issues, high-conflict divorce proceedings, or concerns about child custody, property division, or financial matters. Engaging a family law solicitor provides couples with legal expertise, support, and representation, ensuring their case is successfully navigated and their rights are protected.

    If couples are facing separation or child custody disputes, seeking professional mediation services can be beneficial. Mediators can help couples communicate, negotiate, and work towards mutually agreeable solutions.

    FAQs

    What is Confident Parenting?

    Confident Parenting enables you to feel back in control of your parenting choices. We give you options based on the reality of your family at this time, rather than advocating for one approach. All of our consultants are vetted and extremely experienced child/adolescent or family therapists so you know you are in safe hands. Our vision is of accessible, professional and empowering parent support. A space to reflect and to come away with new strategies during challenging times. We believe the right conversation at the right time can empower parents to move forwards themselves.

    How much will the session cost?

    Sessions cost £80 per single session (45mins) + follow up email summary.

    Who are Confident Parenting sessions for? 

    Sessions are suited to parents and carers of all ages. In the early years especially, parents often struggle with emotional and behavioural issues that typify development at this stage including emotional regulation, sibling rivalry, eating, sleep, boundaries and peer relationships.

    At primary and secondary age, parents may be seeking advice about many of the areas outlined above as well as issues often seen at this stage, including work stress and anxiety, growth mindset, confidence and body issues, gender, sexuality and identity. 

    Where do the sessions take place? 

    The Confident Parenting sessions take place online via Zoom. You will receive a link prior to the selected date and time. 

    Who should attend sessions?

    Sessions are for parents and primary carers. Where there are two parent families we recommend that both parents attend sessions if possible. This is so that the presenting issue can be discussed from the perspectives of all carers involved. A whole-family approach can be explored and developed.

    How many sessions can I have?

    We recommend two sessions – a single session consultation with a follow up session. You can always book in another session when you choose. The single session/follow up model ensures you make the most of the one session but return to discuss your issue and develop your thinking after you have put new ideas into practice.

    What’s involved in the pre-session questionnaire?
    1. What is your main concern (NB how old is your child and how long have you been concerned)?
    2. What have you already tried that has/hasn’t helped?
    3. What would you like to get out of the session?
    Where do I find the pre-session questionnaire?

    This questionnaire will be generated online when booking.

    What should I do in advance?

    Please complete the questions on the pre-session questionnaire generated online when you book.

    We also recommend that you consider these additional questions in preparation for your session.

    1. How is the problem affecting A. your child B. you C. other people in you/your child’s life?
    2. What do you think we need to know about the situation in order to be able to help?
    3. For the therapist to be most helpful, is there anything you feel is important to know about your culture, ethnicity, religion, language, sexual orientation, gender identity/expression, mental or physical health or any other factor?

    Testimonials

    The Counselling provision at our school is now excellent. This is due to Chloe’s understanding of the needs of pupils, parents and the school as an organization. I would whole-heartedly recommend ‘Child in Time’ to head-teachers considering their own counselling provision.

    Head-teacher of Woolmore School, Tower Hamlets

    Parent Consultation: They have become much better at expressing their feelings and opening up to me and their siblings.

    Parent, 2023

    School Counselling: My son has completely turned around and is simply wonderful at the moment. He is back to his normal self at home, being very happy, caring and kind. He is especial kind and caring with his sister and just the best brother ever now. As a family, we are happy and content.

    Parent, 2023

    It is quality time well spent not letting pupils leave with negative patterns that make them vulnerable beyond school. One of the best decisions I have made.

    Head-teacher of St Saviour’s School, Tower Hamlets

    You have helped me build a barrier of protection against pain and I can’t thank you enough for that…I have never felt so emotionally strong.

    Student, aged 15

    Child in Time is a tremendous resource for head-teachers. It’s a consultancy that offers a short-cut to setting up a counselling service in your school with highly trained, qualified practitioners. Child in Time brings peace of mind to staff, knowing that the most vulnerable students are in safe hands.

    Tereza Nogueira, Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist and Senior supervisor UKCP

    This intervention has had an enormous, positive impact for us all and we sincerely hope that other families benefit from the same programme…his positive behaviour is having a really good impact on all elements of his school life.

    Parent of child, age 8

    I am glad I am coming to see you every Thursday because I used to hold all these things in my head and that was hard.

    Girl, age 10

    We are very happy with the counselling service we are receiving and in particular ‘our therapist’s’ flexible and accommodating nature. Parents are very pleased, both the target children’s parents and the consultation one’s too.

    SENCO, Rhodes Avenue School, Haringey

    She is an outstanding therapist who has made a real difference to the lives of pupils in our school. ‘Our therapist’ possesses excellent skills in connecting with others, creating a safe space for staff, parents and pupils to discuss a range of issues. Her expertise, compassion, and dedication are truly commendable and we have really benefited from her thorough understanding of child development and psychology.

    Deputy Head, Highgate Pre-Prep

    I want to say thank you. I found these sessions very very helpful. I could talk about anything with you. I remember our first one, when I was so worried that everything was my fault. I can now see things more clearly.

    student, age 11