Supporting Families Through Change, With Children at the Heart
Are you worried about how your relationship breakdown will impact your child/children? Are you thinking about the best way to tell your children about your divorce?
Child in Time supports families through change, with children at the heart of every decision. Separation reshapes family life, but it doesn’t change what matters the most: your children. Our approach is built around the belief that prioritising children’s needs during a separation ensures they are safe and secure, even in the middle of a storm. Our team of family therapists will help you create the conditions for secure attachments to both parents and a more stable future for everyone involved.
It’s an emotionally charged time for everyone involved, so it can feel almost impossible to protect your children completely, but seeking professional, impartial advice can make a huge difference. With recent data suggesting that the divorce rate in the UK is estimated at 42% there are hundreds of thousands of people right now, worrying about the impact of divorce on their children. It’s more and more common for both parents to play an active role in raising their children, emphasising the importance of co-parenting and the benefits of children maintaining strong relationships with both. But people divorce for a reason, often through a break-down in communication, so it can be incredibly challenging to work together to find a new shape to your children’s lives.
Despite the huge numbers of people going through separation, it often feels like a very lonely place. Your family and set of circumstances are invariably unique so we know that any advice needs to be tailored to you. Our therapists will help you find ways to support the emotional needs of your child/children at a time when you are coping with so much yourself.
We can discuss ways to prepare them for change, whether that be living without one parent, moving into new homes or adjusting to blended families. The most important message to communicate to your children is despite the changes to your family set-up, they remain at the centre of your lives. Learn more, about our parent counselling sessions or Book Today. If you are a couple booking together, please select the ‘Separating Couples Counselling package’ which is 3 sessions in total.
Separating Couples Counselling Package
A three-session package designed to help parents navigate separation with their children’s emotional well-being at the heart. Sessions are tailored to individual family needs and may include:
- How to talk to your children about separation
- Supporting children with big emotions
- Co-parenting communication and consistency
- Creating stability across two homes
- Helping children feel safe, secure and heard
Includes 3 counselling sessions for two parents booking together. Each parent attends one session alone and one together.
Three Session Model: Costs £240
Session 1: First Individual Parent Consultation with Therapist (45mins + follow up email)
Session 2: Second Individual Parent Consultation with Therapist (45mins + follow up email)
Session 3: Parents Come Together to Discuss Supporting Children Through Change (45mins)
Single 70min Sessions Available for Parents Booking Together @ £110
Small changes in how parents communicate and support their children can make a life-long difference.
Our Experts in Divorce & Separation
Kati Mencer
Psychotherapeutic Child Counsellor
I have worked with children and parents for 20 years, starting as a school teacher, Montessori educator/trainer, and then as a child and parent counsellor.
Helen Curren-Anaman
Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist
I have over 20 years of experience practicing within private, public, and charity settings offering consultations for children, young people, and families.
Clemmie Mason
Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist
I have over 12 years experience working with children and their families and more recently have started offering more focussed support to parents and carers.
Adriana Buzetto
Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist
I am a Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist also trained in Child-Parent Relationship Therapy, working with children, adolescents, and families for over 15 years in the UK, Spain, and Brazil.
Karen Lever
Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist
I manage therapeutic services in two London primary schools, as well as supporting trainee psychotherapists. I also work clinically with children.
Beatrice Norville
Systematic Family & Child Parent Relationship Therapy Practitioner
I am a Counsellor (adults, children and young people), Systemic Family Practitioner (families and couples), Child Parent Relationship Therapy Practitioner (parents). I am passionately committed to supporting parents and their families with their struggles.
Parenting Blog
- How to Talk to Children About Separation
How you first talk to your child about separation can shape how safe and supported they feel. Here are some simple, thoughtful ways to approach that conversation with clarity, reassurance, and care…. Read more. - Protecting Children During Divorce or Separation
One of the most distressing aspects of divorce or separation is the fear that it’s going to have a negative impact on your children. We’ve put together a guide to help families work through this difficult time. … Read more. - How (and When) to Find a Therapist for Your Child
If it’s not your industry, finding a therapist (or counsellor) for your child can be a confusing and sometimes stressful business. Given that you may well be seeking a counsellor because you are feeling anxious anyway, making sense of the many different kinds of therapist qualifications, registering bodies and the huge variation in fees can be overwhelming. If you do think you’ve found just the right therapist, they may have long waiting lists or live miles away. Here we aim to make the process easier by giving some information on qualifications, approved databases and what Child in Time can do to help…. Read more.
Additional Parent Resources
There are many exceptional resources for parents available online but it can be hard to find them if you don’t know where to look. Our team has compiled a list of recommended organisations, website and helplines for a wide range of parenting concerns. As well as support for more serious mental health issues, you’ll find our latest creations and recommendations of parenting videos, podcasts and books to add to your reading list. Learn more…
Recommended Books for Children
“Dinosaur’s Divorce” by L K Brown & M.Brown. A colourful, informative book to help children understand divorce. Helps explain: what divorce words mean; why parents divorce; how to live with one parent and visit the other; how to have two homes; and many more issues and topics.
“Two Places to Call Home” by Phil Earle. An uplifting picture book about Florrie who’s parents have divorced, meaning she now lives in 2 houses. She doesn’t feel brave enough to do this, but both parents find a way to show her she’s braver than she thinks.
“Mum and Dad Glue” by Kes Gray. A little boy tries to find a pot of parent glue to stick his mum and dad back together. His parents have come undone and he wants to mend their marriage, stick their smiles back on and make them better. But, as he learns, even though his parents’ relationship may be broken, their love for him is not.
“My Family’s Changing” by Pat Thomas. This simple and reassuring picture book that explores concerns about divorce and family break-ups for young children The fears, worries and questions surrounding this difficult experience are made accessible and approachable.
“Split Survival Kit – Ten steps for coping with your parents divorce” by child psychologist, Angharad Rudkin. From acceptance and resilience, to communication and compassion towards other people, this book will help you tackle the tricky situations that a divorce can bring, and answer some of the questions going through your head.
“Mom’s House, Dad’s House“, by Isolina Ricci. A reassuring guide for separated parents, focused on helping children feel secure and supported across two homes. It offers practical advice on co-parenting, reducing conflict, and creating consistency – so children can adjust, thrive, and feel loved by both parents.
Recommendations for Parents
Podcast: “Connected Parenting” with Jennifer Kolari. Podcaster and author of ‘Connected Parenting’ and You’re ruining my life’ (but not really) Kolari is a Californian child and family therapist. She shares techniques that therapists use, with specific episodes on ‘how to handle Divorce with kids’ and many other common family concerns.
Anna Freud Resources: Tips for parents and carers experiencing conflict, and advice on reducing the impact of conflict between parents and carers on children.
Recommended Books for Adults
Book: “BIFF for CoParent Communication”, by Bill Eddy. A simple, practical approach to handling difficult conversations in high-conflict co-parenting situations. It teaches you how to keep communication Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm – helping reduce stress, avoid escalation, and keep the focus on what matters most: your child.
Book: “Divorce Poison: How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing”, by Dr. Richard A. Warshak. Explores the impact of one parent undermining the other after separation and how it affects children. It offers clear, practical strategies to recognise, address, and prevent this behaviour.
Disclaimer
Our therapists are child development specialists, focusing on the emotional needs of children and families. They are not qualified to give legal advice during sessions, nor are they qualified to act as mediators between co-parents.
Seeking legal representation is essential during divorce proceedings, especially when facing complex legal issues, high-conflict divorce proceedings, or concerns about child custody, property division, or financial matters. Engaging a family law solicitor provides couples with legal expertise, support, and representation, ensuring their case is successfully navigated and their rights are protected.
If couples are facing separation or child custody disputes, seeking professional mediation services can be beneficial. Mediators can help couples communicate, negotiate, and work towards mutually agreeable solutions.
FAQs
How can we tell our children we are separating?
Where possible, it is usually helpful for parents to tell children together using calm, age-appropriate language. Children need reassurance that both parents love them, that the separation is not their fault and that they will continue to be cared for. Honest but simple explanations can help children feel safer during uncertainty.
How does separation affect children emotionally?
Children can experience a wide range of emotions during separation, including sadness, confusion, anger, anxiety or relief. Some children become quieter and more withdrawn, while others may show changes in behaviour, sleep, relationships or emotional regulation. Every child responds differently depending on their age, temperament and family circumstances.
What helps children feel safe during family change?
Children benefit from consistency, reassurance and emotionally available adults during periods of change. Predictable routines, reduced conflict, clear communication and maintaining strong relationships with important caregivers can all support a child’s sense of safety and stability.
How can parents reduce conflict after separation?
Reducing conflict often begins with keeping communication child-focused and avoiding involving children in adult disagreements. Even when relationships feel difficult, children benefit when parents try to remain respectful, predictable and emotionally contained around them. Seeking professional support can sometimes help parents navigate challenging dynamics more calmly.
What is child-centred co-parenting?
Child-centred co-parenting focuses on making decisions based on a child’s emotional wellbeing and developmental needs rather than parental conflict or differences. It involves supporting a child’s relationship with both parents wherever possible while creating stability, consistency and emotional security.
How can we support children living between two homes?
Children often cope better with two homes when routines, expectations and communication feel predictable and emotionally safe. Supporting transitions calmly, allowing children to express feelings openly and avoiding pressure to “choose sides” can help children adjust more confidently over time.
Why might children’s behaviour change after separation?
Changes in behaviour are often a child’s way of expressing emotions they may not yet have words for. Anxiety, sadness, confusion, grief and uncertainty can all affect behaviour, sleep, school engagement and emotional regulation. Understanding behaviour as communication can help parents respond more supportively.
When should families seek professional support during divorce or separation?
Support may be helpful when children appear increasingly distressed, conflict remains high, communication feels difficult or parents feel unsure how best to support their child emotionally. Early support can help families better understand children’s needs during periods of significant change.
