Neurodiversity Parent Counselling
Are you finding it hard to support your neurodiverse child? Is your child about to be assessed for Autism or ADHD? Maybe you are wondering how to talk to your child about a diagnosis?
Society is going through a positive sea-change in terms of the way neurodivergent individuals are perceived and supported at school and beyond. However, there is still widespread misunderstanding about the various conditions this term includes (Autism and ADHD being the most common) and in some cases harmful prejudices leave parents anxious about starting an assessment or receiving a diagnosis.
About 15% of the global population are thought to be neurodivergent. Broadly speaking neurodiversity refers to brains that are built and work somewhat differently to a loosely defined ‘neurotypical’ majority. In the UK at least 1% of people are thought to have an autistic spectrum condition and about 4% have ADHD. Dyslexia, dyspraxia and dyscalculia are about 10%, 6% and 6%. The steady rise in cases probably has something to do with changes in definitions and therefore diagnosis as well as greater awareness so that individuals who would previously have been missed are better understood. There’s rarely an identifiable cause but scientists suspect that DNA underpins 80% of autism and ADHD.
As a parent you will probably have been modifying your world to meet your child’s needs for a long time prior to considering a diagnosis so in some ways it can be a relief to have your experiences understood. But it can also be a uniquely painful time and space should be given to the whole range of emotional responses in your family. Our therapists can help you make sense of your feelings and work out how to support the emotional needs of your child as they learn to celebrate their uniqueness. Learn more, about our parent counselling sessions or Book Today.
Our Experts in Neurodiversity
Karen Lever
Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist
I manage therapeutic services in two London primary schools, as well as supporting trainee psychotherapists. I also work clinically with children.
Helen Curren-Anaman
Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist
I have over 20 years of experience practicing within private, public, and charity settings offering consultations for children, young people, and families.
Kati Mencer
Psychotherapeutic Child Counsellor
I have worked with children and parents for 20 years, starting as a school teacher, Montessori educator/trainer, and then as a child and parent counsellor.
Clemmie Mason
Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist
I have over 12 years experience working with children and their families and more recently have started offering more focussed support to parents and carers.
Adriana Buzetto
Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist
I am a Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist also trained in Child-Parent Relationship Therapy, working with children, adolescents, and families for over 15 years in the UK, Spain, and Brazil.
Parenting Blog
- Neurodiversity and Family Trips
Days out or travel when you have a neurodivergent child can be a challenge. Some parents feel a sense of fear when they leave the familiarity of home […]… Read more. - Should I Seek a Diagnosis for my Child?
We spoke to some of our families about seeking a diagnosis for neurodevelopmental conditions (such as ASC and ADHD) and asked them whether they feel it has been beneficial for their child…. Read more. - Entering the Teens with ASC (Autistic Spectrum Condition)
Parents are often anxious about the way in which the physical and hormonal changes of adolescence will affect their child as they head into their teens. Factor Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) into the equation, and the picture can become more complex. How might normal acts of teenage rebellion look for a child who struggles with behavioural control? Navigating complex social dynamics at this age is always fraught with intensity, but will it be more of a challenge for a neurodiverse child?… Read more.
Additional Parent Resources
There are many exceptional resources for parents available online but it can be hard to find them if you don’t know where to look. Our team has compiled a list of recommended organisations, website and helplines for a wide range of parenting concerns. As well as support for more serious mental health issues, you’ll find our latest creations and recommendations of parenting videos, podcasts and books to add to your reading list. Learn more…
Recommendations for Parents
“Autism: Talking Together about a Diagnosis” by Rachel Pike published by the National Autistic Society. This is really helpful for parents wanting help talking to their child about a diagnosis
“Can I tell you about ADHD? A Guide for Friends, Family and Professionals” by Susan Yarney. This short book from the perspective of a child is really accessible and informative.
“Taking Charge of ADHD” by renowned ADHD expert Russell A. Barkley, Ph.D. A well regarded handbook for anyone raising a child with attention deficit. In it, Barkley discusses the causes of ADHD, medication options, advice for parents with the condition, sibling issues, and how to work with schools and healthcare providers.
“The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children” by Ross W Greene PhD. A groundbreaking, research-based approach to understanding and parenting children who frequently exhibit severe fits of temper and other challenging behaviors, from a distinguished clinician and pioneer in the field.
“8 Keys to Parenting Children with ADHD” by Cindy Goldrich & Babette Rothschild. The book offers parents science-based insights and systems for cultivating confidence, independence, and communication skills in children with ADHD. The eight “key” concepts presented will reduce chaos, improve cooperation, and nurture creativity and drive in children with ADHD.
“Brain Brilliance: 60 Nourishing Recipes And A Nutritional Toolkit For Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, ADHD, Autism and All Neurodivergent Kids” by Lucinda Miller. Brain Brilliance will help you and your children make the important connection between what they eat and their mood, behaviour, and learning – even if they are a highly selective eater and resistant to change.
Recommended Organisations
ADHD UK. By people with ADHD for people with ADHD.
ADDitudemag. All things ADHD. Expert info & strategies.
National Autism Society. Advice & information about autism.
Autistica. A charity helping understand autism & improve diagnosis.
FAQs
What does neurodiversity affirming support mean?
Neurodiversity affirming support recognises and respects differences in how children think, communicate, feel and experience the world. Rather than trying to “fix” a child, the focus is on understanding their needs, reducing distress, building emotional safety and supporting them to thrive as themselves.
Why do neurodivergent children become emotionally overwhelmed?
Many neurodivergent children experience the world more intensely. Sensory input, social demands, uncertainty, transitions, emotional expectations or masking difficulties during the day can all contribute to overwhelm. Emotional outbursts are often signs that a child’s coping capacity has been exceeded rather than ‘bad’ behaviour and should be responded to gently.
How can parents support emotional regulation in autistic children?
Supporting emotional regulation often begins with understanding what may be contributing to stress or overwhelm. Predictability, sensory awareness, emotional validation, clear communication and reducing demands during difficult moments can all help. Co-regulation with calm, supportive adults is often more effective than consequences or punishment.
Why might traditional parenting strategies not work for neurodivergent children?
Many traditional behaviour-based approaches rely on expectations around flexibility, communication, sensory processing and emotional regulation that may not match a neurodivergent child’s needs. Children generally do well when they feel safe, understood and supported, so approaches based on connection and understanding are often more effective.
What does sensory overwhelm look like in children?
Sensory overwhelm can present differently in every child. Some children may become distressed, tearful, angry or withdrawn, while others may cover their ears, avoid certain environments, struggle with clothing textures or become exhausted after busy situations. Behaviour often reflects an attempt to cope with an overwhelming environment.
How can I support an anxious neurodivergent child?
Anxiety often reduces when children feel understood, prepared and emotionally safe. Predictability, visual supports, reducing unnecessary pressure and validating worries can all help. Understanding the child’s sensory, communication and emotional needs is also important when supporting anxiety compassionately.
Why does my child struggle after school?
Many children use enormous emotional energy trying to manage social, sensory and academic demands during the school day. After school, children may finally release emotions they have been holding in. This is sometimes called “after-school restraint collapse” and can be especially common in neurodivergent children.
How can parents better understand neurodivergent behaviour?
Looking beneath behaviour with curiosity can help parents understand what a child may be communicating. Behaviour is often linked to overwhelm, anxiety, sensory experiences, communication differences or emotional exhaustion. Understanding a child’s individual needs can help parents respond with greater confidence and compassion.
