Adolescence & Identity Parent Counselling
Is your teenager always exhausted, never at home or just starring at a screen? Our team can help you find the best way to support your teenager without getting stuck in silence or drawn into arguments. Sometimes it’s hard to work out what’s ‘normal adolescence’ and what’s a cause for concern.
From puberty to about 25 years old, the brain is in a unique state with core developmental drives that increase the urge for novelty, risk taking, identity forming and autonomy. MRI data shows that the brain networks linked to self-reflection light up more in adolescence than at any other stage of development.
It’s an exciting time but a particularly challenging time to be a parent as young people are usually forming their identities in relation to peer groups rather than the family unit but still need parental guidance and emotional support through what can be a time of high emotions and insecurities. At this vulnerable transition, adolescents are highly sensitive to feedback, particularly non-verbal and can be very reactive if they feel judged.
Taking the time to reflect on your emotional response to your teenager and planning new ways to respond to their needs and behaviour can make all the difference, bringing your family together again.
Our therapists can help you work out how to support the needs of your child as they navigate their way into adulthood. Learn more, about our parent counselling sessions or Book Today.
Our Experts in Adolescence & Identity
Karen Lever
Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist
I manage therapeutic services in two London primary schools, as well as supporting trainee psychotherapists. I also work clinically with children.
Adriana Buzetto
Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist
I am a Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist also trained in Child-Parent Relationship Therapy, working with children, adolescents, and families for over 15 years in the UK, Spain, and Brazil.
Tamsin Lemkow
Child & Adolescent Counsellor
I have been working as a therapist with Child in Time since 2013 in schools. I also support parents with a range of difficulties such as divorce, family breakdown, bereavement, and mental health
Parenting Blog
- Case Study: Managing Screen Time
We know that holidays are a time where screen usage can increase as a replacement for the structure of school. This example of a client seeking help for her child’s gaming demonstrates how a Child in Time family therapists can provide support and strategies to help…. Read more. - Entering the Teens with ASC (Autistic Spectrum Condition)
Parents are often anxious about the way in which the physical and hormonal changes of adolescence will affect their child as they head into their teens. Factor Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) into the equation, and the picture can become more complex. How might normal acts of teenage rebellion look for a child who struggles with behavioural control? Navigating complex social dynamics at this age is always fraught with intensity, but will it be more of a challenge for a neurodiverse child?… Read more. - Gender & Sexuality
Is your child exploring their sexuality or gender identity? Are you struggling to communicate with them about the subject and uncertain about how to support them during this time? Perhaps you and your partner have different approaches…. Read more.
Additional Parent Resources
There are many exceptional resources for parents available online but it can be hard to find them if you don’t know where to look. Our team has compiled a list of recommended organisations, website and helplines for a wide range of parenting concerns. As well as support for more serious mental health issues, you’ll find our latest creations and recommendations of parenting videos, podcasts and books to add to your reading list. Learn more…
Recommendations for Parents & Young Adults
“The A-Z of Gender and Sexuality: From Ace to Ze” by Morgan Lev Edward Holleb. A dictionary guide to help dispel the anxiety around using the “wrong” words.
“What Does LGBT+ Mean?: A Guide for Young People (& Grown-Ups)” by Olly Pike. Helping young people with their LGBT+ identity.
“The Queer Mental Health Workbook: A Creative Self-Help Guide” by Dr Brendan J. Dunlop. A down-to-earth self-help workbook designed to as personal mental health resource.
Recommended Organisations
Pop’n’Olly. the UK’s leading LGBT+ educational resource for children, parents, carers and teachers. Their videos and books are being used in primary schools across the UK and beyond to help teach about equality and diversity whilst ultimately helping to combat LGBT+ prejudice before it can begin to form.
Gendered Intelligence. An organisation working towards a world where trans, non-binary and gender questioning people live healthy, safe and fulfilled lives.
Youngminds. Support for young people and their families. Making sure all young people can get the mental health support they need.
FAQs
Why do teenagers change emotionally during adolescence?
Adolescence is a period of significant emotional, social and neurological development. Teenagers are developing their identity, independence and understanding of themselves while also navigating friendships, school pressures and changing relationships. Emotional ups and downs are a normal part of this stage of development.
How can parents support teenage emotional wellbeing?
Teenagers benefit from relationships where they feel listened to, respected and emotionally safe. Remaining available, curious and non-judgemental can help maintain connection during periods of change. Consistent boundaries, emotional validation and opportunities for open conversation also support wellbeing.
Why do teenagers sometimes withdraw from family?
As teenagers develop independence, it is natural for them to seek greater privacy and spend more time focused on friendships or their own interests. Withdrawal can sometimes reflect a healthy developmental shift, although stress, anxiety, low mood or emotional difficulties may also contribute. Staying gently connected without forcing conversation is often important.
How does identity develop during adolescence?
Identity develops through experiences, relationships, interests, values and growing self-awareness. Adolescence is often a time of exploration as young people try to better understand who they are and where they fit in the world. Supportive relationships can help teenagers feel safer exploring identity and expressing themselves authentically.
What affects teenage self-esteem?
Self-esteem can be influenced by friendships, school experiences, social media, academic pressures, family relationships, identity development and emotional wellbeing. Teenagers often compare themselves to others while trying to establish confidence in themselves. Feeling accepted, understood and valued can positively support self-esteem over time.
How can parents communicate more effectively with teenagers?
Teenagers are often more likely to communicate openly when they feel listened to without immediate judgement or criticism. Choosing calmer moments for conversations, showing curiosity and allowing space for differing opinions can help strengthen communication. Feeling emotionally safe remains important, even as teenagers seek more independence.
Why do teenagers experience emotional ups and downs?
Hormonal changes, brain development, social pressures, identity exploration and increased responsibilities can all contribute to emotional fluctuations during adolescence. Teenagers are often managing intense emotions while still developing coping skills and emotional regulation.
When should a teenager receive emotional support or counselling?
Additional support may be helpful if a teenager appears persistently anxious, withdrawn, overwhelmed or emotionally distressed, or if difficulties begin affecting relationships, school life or daily functioning. Seeking support early can provide teenagers and families with space to better understand emotions and navigate challenges more confidently.
